What have you been doing for the past 25 years?

San Antonio's River Walk

San Antonio, Texas----“So what have you been doing for the past, ah, 25 years?” a ridiculous question I asked a long lost friend. As college friends at Kansas State we had remained friends past college but then life happens and there had been no contact. Knowing I was heading that way I had found him on LinkedIn still in San Antonio where he has lived for 22 years after getting his Doctorate and becoming a College professor.

Catch-ups like these can be strange. I met him at his university and had no idea if he was married, had kids, was even anything like the friend that had worked on the college newspaper with me: the guy with a sparkle in his eyes and a bounce to his step.

We drove though gorgeous neighborhoods with porches and yards colorfully decorated in the vivid traditional Mexican colors and he explained that this was “Fiesta Week” in San Antonio. A WEEK of celebrations, down town parades and parties. I like it. Beats the one day only Cinco de Mayo tradition! Later I was told that San Antonio is famous for extra traditional celebrations and more reasons to party. Another plus for this town known also for the beautiful café and shop lined river walk that twists and turns through the center of down town.

Over lunch at a beautifully themed TexMex restaurant, we did the best cliff notes version of the years gone by. For him a long marriage and three beautiful kids. A fairly recent amicable divorce and the adjusting it took to restart and redirect life plans.  Super fit and still a smile that consumes his entire face, we sat like anyone reunited and compared updates on the people we had mutually known. Most of them also lost in time.

We are at an age where the word “nice guy” is no longer an undesired personality trait. And this man is a nice guy.

Looking at someone else’s life fast forward was somewhat sobering. I’m not into comparing my life against anyone I once knew. I love to celebrate their accomplishments, and am fascinated by their path of choices. In his case many good choices, he jokes that he was always a secret intellectual.

I don’t know why I left feeling a little sad. Was it that the past can truly never be revisited? Or that since my life has been a version of living Groundhogs Day, it was a grounding into the reality of aging.

This road trip is filled with future meet-ups with friends from the past. The stories I wanted to gather are not going as I had originally imagined.  I have no idea where it will all lead, what it will mean and still struggle with why exactly I’m doing this coast to coast drive…except for the fact I want to.  So for now, like this city’s Alamo, I’m not giving up.

 

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